Act I

I have “Dreams” on my earbuds; on repeat non-stop: “thunder only happens when it’s raining… players only love you when they’re playing…”

True or false? True and false.

Hold on a second; aren’t we all somehow players one way or the other? Players of our own life journey or perhaps a fake version of it. If we think about it with a clear mind, we realize we sometimes play it in the proper manner, but often take the deceptive path.

Right? Hmmm, right!

I have a secret, though, which I find favorable most times. When I’m trapped in the wrong path, I quickly retreat, somehow erase myself from the whole scene, and instead try to watch – or better say, observe – the whole act(s) of my self-play from an outside perspective. I have a tendency to sit in the second row or watch myself from the balcony.

Do I make sense at all or should I continue with my “Dreams”? Oh, for heaven’s sake, I’m so out of tune that it’s not even funny!

S

Taxi Ride

My name is… well, never mind.

Oh, sweetness, how should I start?
first of all, let me apologize
if I stare at you down upside.

Look far up to the May starry night
waving at you from the plane
passing above where we both belong.

You think I’m thrilled deep in my heart.
what difference does it make,
do you really mind?

It’s bouncing, I’m burning, and starsailing
don’t look up and continue
with your taxi ride, would you?

S

No-Exit

Crawling up the stirring metals
lucid bricks on the frozen walls
one by one, add by two, perhaps four
falling into thousand puzzles

He is loaded with nothingness
she counts her dreams and all her cents
she and them; he, himself;
tumbling into all those riddles

They hate lovers, let’s love haters
we’re all players of storytellers:
the beauty falls for the villain one
whites and blacks become one

I return, even turn
passing thought the “No Exits”
here and there, final dribbles
indulging my mislaid wishes.

S

Rendezvous

It’s twelve past three;
swallowed in this terrorizing night
when another flame
ignites right before dawn.

The greedy concrete, the frozen thoughts;
the blank postcards and the empty lots;
she won’t trust nor will she fall for
those rendezvous spots.

The barriers, the forbidden lies;
the traffic lights and the broken time;
oh, where have all those
frankness gone?

What if her heart breaks no more;
and the yellow balloon keeps
swinging in the night that
lends away its green light.

What if her heart still tastes
the confined love?
Shit, what if the damage
is already done?

S

Tell Me It’s A Joke

WHAT?!!

I just read in the news about a toddler, who is disgustingly a chain smoker. Apparently, he was first given a cigarette when he was only 18 months old and now he smokes two packs of cigarettes a day.

I feel really sick and disturbed inside my body and mind. How can an abusive loser of a father do something like this to a 2-year old child’s immaculate soul, make a film and portray it as something extraordinary or perhaps a record? It’s such gross neglect that I’m not even going to believe it.

Where is this world going to end?

Bloody hell!

S

When It’s Over

The dreaming cloud is swirling above her head and she is losing herself in all those question marks unanswered…

How to respond to challenges and not crack? Where to escape when her conscience constantly nags at her? Who to follow when the hopelessness beats the promises? How to stop the foolish games and trust that they are all part of a design, which is much grander? Which path to choose, the unknown or the proverb? How much longer will the moon and its fullness delay?

Oh, she is pushing herself hard these days… and now the same old cloud becomes unbearable…

How to sprint ahead while taking a backward step? How much is an attachment really costing her? Will the future of love be very similar to its past, as he said?

Is it really over?

S

Walking Past Open Windows

“Do you know what *genius* means?,” the stranger on the train asked me. “Hmmm, someone who is smart; I mean really smart. Smarter than the norm,” I replied. He shook his head with a messy crop of hair on top. “A genius is someone, who never gives up. Never give up writing love. Never be obsessive about what others think of your words. Try to write the words, which float out from your unconsciousness; in the middle of the night or elsewhere under any special circumstances,” he said.

Last week, Kerry asked us to talk to a stranger and write about it, which for me is nothing new or offbeat. I do it all the time. On the train ride home, while my mind was full of new and old ideas, the above conversation took place between me and a guy who seemed graceless with a huge inner scar. I got home, ate something and fell asleep. I had a dream. I don’t remember a thing. I woke up to the sound of the alarm and the same routine began. A few hours passed. I looked peaked. Took the lift down for some fresh air in temperatures far above zero. I took a quick glance at my own shadow and realized that only a shot of espresso can bring my focus back to reality. I entered the little shop on my right, put the coins, including a lot of pennies, down on his counter and asked for a double shot. He looked at me with a sweet smile. I looked at his inner arm and saw an appealing tattoo font. I grabbed it and read: “Keep walking past open windows.” I asked him to tell me the story behind it. He did with a bigger smile, looked into my eyes, and said: “Never give up.” I was stunned. A few tears found their way in my eyes. Two strangers with diverse histories told me the same thing in less than twenty four hours.

I walked more unfocused out the glass doors while listening to the sound of the Doors: “People are strange when you’re a stranger… Faces look ugly when you’re alone…”

… and that day, I never got back to reality.

S